Could You Fire Your Brother?!?
The pitfalls of referring to your coworkers as a “work family.”
We’ve all heard the term used by someone we know. Perhaps you’ve used it yourself…I have. In fact, I often used to say, “My coworkers are great, I just love working with them and at X company…we are all like a big family.” I was even able to draw great analogies to the quirky (yet endearing) disfunctions of a family, the “love-hate” relationship (at times) of family members, and even the way we defended each other against “outsiders” or outside “attacks.”
It wasn’t until a good friend adamantly disagreed with me that I began to see the pitfalls of referring to my coworkers as a “work family.” I always sensed it was a bit odd to call coworkers “family,” but it also felt “homey” in a certain way. It felt like I was spending each day developing meaningful relationships with people I really cared about and people who really cared about me. What could be wrong with that? Don’t we want a “family-like” atmosphere at work (a place we spend 40+ hours of our week)?
“No.” My wise business friend repeated the denial and rebutted each passionate reason I gave as to why I should call my coworkers “family.”
He finally struck a chord with me when he blurted out, “Could you fire your brother?!?” I quickly replied, “No. Plus I don’t work with my brother.” “Well, you work with your family, so one of them is probably your brother. Could you fire your brother?”
I realized his point. Could I fire my brother if it was in the best interests of the company and its future? Most likely…but it would be messy. Working with family is messy. Weisbeck Consulting has helped family-run businesses navigate various challenges. The “family” component of those challenges always, I mean always, further complicates the challenge. A decision or strategic move that requires appropriate buy-in for successful adoption by the staff, now must consider the behind-the-scenes dynamics and family “baggage.”
So, call it “a team.” That is what you want to build – a strong, healthy, well-rounded, battle-tested, loyal, adaptable, hardworking, high-integrity, high-performing, positive, innovative team.
A team is not afraid to make a shift in the game plan or roster to improve its performance. Try shifting your sister to a new position she doesn’t want to be in, even if it is the best way for her to add value to the company.
A team is not afraid to transition out a teammate who doesn’t fit the culture, consistently underperforms, is unmotivated, refuses to be a team player, etc. Its messy to fire your brother…regardless of how poorly he is performing or how bad of a fit he is for the company.
Build a team. Develop a team. Care for your team. But all within the context of the business. You, as the leader of your company, need to do what is best for the health, growth, and future of the company. You do not need additional complications or “baggage.”
Leave the “family” to home and outside of work. You and your team will be happy you did!
